Well, August is here. I always have high hopes with the start of a new month. Let’s see what this one brings by way of celebrations aimed at informing us or enriching our lives. Here’s one, National Admit You’re Happy Month. Hmm, I’d like to be around a crowd gathering for this particular celebration. I have a vision of people jumping up on chairs, tearing off their shrouds and letting out a maniacal scream, “I can’t take it anymore. I’m happy, happy, do you hear? I’m happy. God help me.”
I believe the national month thing originated with the best intentions—National Cancer Awareness Month, National Children in Crisis Month, and so on. But as is often said of horrific outcomes, something went terribly wrong. And I would caution that it could definitely give people the impression that our society has nothing better to do.
I have no idea who gets to decide which celebrations make the list (I wouldn’t mind having a go at it), but we do have to wonder when we see National Romance Awareness Month. I envision a week-long workshop at a secluded mountain retreat: “Today we are going to discuss the concept of giving a box of chocolates to someone you care about. No, seriously, an actual box of chocolates. Tomorrow, we’ll consider…I kid you not…the implications of sending a dozen roses. That’s right, twelve of them. Twelve roses. We don’t joke about things like this. Then, we’ll get into the possibility of selecting a Valentine card that says something other than ‘To Someone Special.’ Yes, it is true that a wife can certainly be someone special but… well…we’ll have to talk about all that. And just to let you know, we won’t be covering weekend getaways; that’s our advanced program to be held in Hawaii in the fall.”
I also question National Family Fun Month. Really? It’s August. The kids got out of school two or three months ago. Haven’t we had all the fun a family can possibly endure? But I suppose that with prayer and supplication we can survive one more blistering theme park visit, one more over-crowded day on the mega water slides, one more S’mores-melt around the campfire or one more trampoline pool party that ends up with only a mild ankle injury. Ahh, to bond with those we love is pure bliss, especially with a Groupon bogo offer.
August contains two of the most interesting weeks of the year: National Be Kind to Humankind Week and International Clown Week. I suspect that someone was already clowning around when they made up the list. If they really intend to be kind to humankind, why not include National Nothing at All Month. Just sayin’.